Soaring Again

I’m basically an upbeat and optimistic person…. I find joy daily and thank God often every day for the abundant blessings I have in this life! Yet, grief is an odd thing. It pops up when it wants, usually unplanned and uninvited. I am learning to “go with it” if at all possible. Today I tried to take my mom’s old address off a business account I have. A little thing. I just wanted to “close that door” and erase one more minor reminder. It was not happenin’! I dissolved into tears. Yes frustration, but a hole in my heart was also left open.

Flying through the ....

Flying through ….

After a good cry I pulled myself together and sought help. I am still waiting for techies to tell me what to do. And while my heart still aches a bit, there is a unique sweetness there too. Like the birds flying just before dawn, I know God is present. He lifts me on His gentle current of love. There is a freedom tied to hope for me and for my loved ones who have gone before. I know my mom is now dancing and living pain free. My dad, who lived 20 years after his debilitating stroke, is playing sports and talking. My older brother is asking God a million questions every day, and receiving answers! And God is present with me. I am here by Abba’s grand design, and I am not alone.

I can choose to let the sorrow overwhelm me, or I can choose to soar with the truth of God’s love and comfort. After all, Jesus did leave the Holy Spirit to guide and comfort us. When I take a breath and look up, even if it only in my spirit, that is all the Comforter is waiting for. My mind floods with God’s promises and I notice His presence, that never really left me. I begin to mount up on wings like eagles. Honestly, sometimes I fly low with the chickadees and the sparrows, but I am free!

In the mix of all this, there is cleansing in the sorrow. If we allow ourselves to “go with it” for a while and cry, the tears wash away pieces of the grief. There are literal chemical reactions that take place when we cry, almost identical to laughter! Endorphins bring relief to whatever we have pent up. Soaring becomes a possibility again. There is hope in the pain. I find that the deeper the grief, the more I allow tears and laughter, the more healing is realized.

We grieve the loss of people, but we also grieve the loss of pets, jobs, belongings, relationships lost or broken, and so much more. They all matter to God.

It is important to feel it so we can let it go, own it so it is ours to release. Please don’t rush it. Don’t be afraid to feel. It brings healing.

Abba, the longer we live, the more things in life we have to grieve. I pray we soar most of the time, but give ourselves permission to welcome grief in those moments it pops up.

I ask you to sanctify our thoughts and our imaginations. Protect us from dwelling in the pain too long when you are calling us up to you. At the same time, teach us how to sit with the pain and sorrow just long enough for your healing touch to finish transforming that portion of grief.

Bring us to the heights with You so we can see and feel the sanctifying work you are completing in us. Then grant us the grace and courage to sit with those who are learning to grieve and still need a human word or touch to help connect them to You, the source of all comfort. Thank you Abba for loving us and personally holding us through it all! Amen


Andrea (Madden) Van Boven : I like to think I am a radical lover of Jesus, but I live in a house and pay bills and look like I fit in with respectable society, like most people. What goes on in my head and heart are hopefully the things that betray the look of "normal" that comes at first glance. I hope those things inside of me seep out to actions as well as words of hope and encouragement. I pray that these in turn will lead others to know the loving creator who knows us so intimately that he has a number for every hair on every head.

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